OMG.
I DREAMT OF GRANNY.
she looks utterly thin.
weak.
just like the way she looked when she went.
shrunken and bony.
its horrible and painful to watch her that way in my dream.
the dream is weird.
but could it be she, her spirit really entered my dream?
i hope so.
she caressed my right cheek with her trembling hands.
i held it and i think i cried.
it was weird because i knew in my dream she was supposed to be dead.
she was on my sofa.
seriously shrunken.
is she really here.
is she going back soon.
are you beside me now?
can i hold you.








just a few days ago when my teacher mentioned ttsh and people going there to perform for the elderly as music therapy, i almost teared i swear but i was cool. the whole scene came flashing back in my head. i missed the times i rushed from school to the hospital. and then my dad goes there everynight till late to just be by her side. music therapy allows them to forget their troubles, their pain. im glad she's gone. her pain will be gone. i hope she's healthy now. almost one full yr has passed. i hope she visits me in my dream tonight. this time, i'll hug her. i must. and play the game we used to play. and watch her watch the sunset after eating. let her watch me eat.


i wana feel your hand.
i hope it isn't so cold now.